The Value of Self-Esteem

Hello everyone :)

Today's post is going to be a little different again as it centres on this article I read today on the front of the West Australian Newspaper.

Basically in short this article talks about how praising children to boost self-esteem is setting them up for failure and disappointment as kids need 'tough love'.

This really hit home with me as my Mothers parents, my grandparents, are on the extreme end of this view, which is only high achievement and I mean high may be rewarded and acknowledged.

I know personally from watching my Mother and learning from her that ones view of themselves in this world is extremely important.

If one is told every day that they are useless, worthless and nothing these words become engrained into them and they believe it as so. If someone is told they are beautiful, smart and worthy every day the same occurs. If a child is told they are great at something, and then dismal at something else, isn't that setting the child up for failure.

I just do not understand this 'tough love' logic. Basically I am terrible at Maths and I no this and I am fairly decent at English, however, because I no I am terrible at maths I will not even bother trying. This is engrained into me through schooling, that if you aren't good at something well focus on what you are good at. Which yes is fairly true and can end in high achievements, although if I am told I am not good at something I already no I am going to fail.

This applies with the 'tough love' philosophy  My Mother was barely ever praised for anything she achieved, be it graduating high school, getting a full time job and becoming a Mother. This in turn lead to depleted self-worth, self-esteem and love for ones self. My Mother never being praised for her achievements and only being recognised for her failures resulted in her low self esteem, which was perpetuated by her parents.

Low-self esteem can be the fore-front of many mental and emotional problems, including depression, anxiety, OCD, drug addiction, alcoholism and the list goes on...


So basically what I am trying to get at is that if the schooling system believes that telling kids they are rubbish at something will result in them trying harder and being realistic about life, well it will also result in a lack of creativity, imagination, love of self, acceptance and self-esteem.

These kids will be limited to only what they are good at and therefore what they fail at isn't worth trying to achieve. Tell the kids good job you are getting there and praise them and maybe just maybe they will keep trying and finally get there.



Let me no if you agree or disagree :)

Maddi xoxo




Here is the article:
http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/wa/17319358/students-to-learn-about-failure/